All right, folks, we'll keep this simple. In the name of charity, RYAN WILL GET DRUNK FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! See how you can help.
Ryan doesn't drink, period, because alcohol tastes gross. Consequently, in 35 years he's never been drunk. Not high school. Not college. Not ever. Well, we're about to change all that. This year Ryan pledges to get drunk for the first (and likely only) time ever... and all in the name of charity.
Want to join us in this adventure?
This monumental event will occur as an exclusive engagement (i.e. party) at Ryan and Mary Kate's house on the evening of Saturday, January 5th. There are numerous ways you can donate and benefit from this hallowed occasion:
- $10 - Have a drink on me -- straight donation w/ no benefits.
- $25 - I'm buying the next round -- again, straight donation w/ no benefits.
- $50 - Tell me everything -- within a week after the event, Ryan will email you a written play-by-play of what went down.
- $75 - I want a photo -- Ryan will email you the best "drunk Ryan" photo taken that night, so as to preserve the moment forever.
- $100 - I WANT TO BE THERE -- Just to reiterate, this is something that likely WILL NOT EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. Only folks who donate at this level or higher will be invited to join the party and witness the event as it unfolds. So c'mon, be generous for a good cause and join us for the festivities!
- $150 - I want a video too -- At this level, you'll not only be invited to the event itself, but Ryan will also email you a link to video highlights of the party and/or subsequent hangover.
BONUS ROUND: If we reach our goal of $2,900 raised (which will help Bread for the City FEED 100 FAMILIES through its annual Holiday Helpings campaign), Ryan will drunkenly sing one of the following songs AND send a video link of the "performance" to EVERY PERSON WHO DONATES TO THIS PAGE. When you donate, be sure to cast your vote (as a comment) for which of these three "gems" you'd like Ryan to sing:
- "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi
- "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake
- "June is Bustin' Out All Over" from Rodgers & Hammerstein's Carousel
- Q: I'm in a couple, do we each have to pay to achieve a certain benefit? A: No. Couples can share a benefit. In fact, that goes for any two people (and no more than two) who wish to pair up and go in on a higher benefit level.
- Q: I want to make a donation, but don't really care about the benefits. Do I have to take them? A: Sigh... you're no fun. But no, you are more than welcome to make a straight donation for this good cause.
- Q: Is giving tied to the number of drinks Ryan will take? A: No. We're going for drunk here people, not alcohol poisoning (which is a killjoy).
ONE MORE VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: This event is intended to be fun... but also kept safe. I'm not going for quantity. I'm not drinking everything in the photo above. I'm not going to drink until I black out and I'm not going for alcohol poisoning. Just going for standard inebriation... like many, many, many other people before me have done before. I figure that will take about 4 beers. So no worries. And if you don't believe me, believe my lovely wife, Mary Kate, who will also be on hand to ensure safety.
About the charity: All proceeds from this page will go to Holiday Helpings, Bread for the City's annual campaign to provide complete holiday meals (a turkey and all the trimmings) to low-income families in need. The goal this year is to feed 9,000 people. In order to do that, we need your help. Join us!
Of course, Bread for the City is so much more than just holiday meals. We offer low-income DC residents basic human services year-round, such as food, clothing, medical care, legal aid, and social services. All of this is provided free of charge and in an atmosphere of dignity and respect. Good stuff, huh?
Remember folks, this fundraising drive may be incredibly juvenile, but it's all in good fun and for an excellent cause. Please, give generously. Thank you for your support!
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