My name is Chad Garyet, and I am raising money for Austin Bat Cave by competing in Home Slice Pizza's "Hands on and Eggplant Sub" Contest!
The Hands on an Eggplant Sub contest will have me face-to-face with competitors to see who can be the last person standing with their hands on a giant eggplant sub. In addition to raising money for an awesome charity, Austin Bat Cave, the winner will also be receiving FREE PIZZA for an entire year from Home Slice. The fine folks at the restaurant have asked me to fill out an application to tell you a little about myself. Here are my stats!!
Name: Chad Garyet
Occupation: Video Game Developer
Awards: ”Hilarious” – from Lauren Shuggart, earned at HOES in 2010 (revealed in recent interview).
1. How do you plan to win?
Preparation. Running. Standing. Osmium injected into my bloodstream to make me heavier (not sure how that’s going to help…but I’m confident). Last time I didn’t prepare at all and lasted 58 hours. Just imagine what 3 weeks of training is going to do for me.
2. What other “extreme” feats have you performed/participated in?
Camped out in a bakery underground for 8 hours during the Japan Tohoku Earthquake.
Worked 12+ hours a day, 7 days a week, for 4 months straight for Mickey Mouse.
I bowled a 298 in the dark
3. What reality show best describes your life, and why?
Top Chef, because I’m really awesome at watching and judging other people’s cooking.
4. What are 5 items you can’t live without?
Phone, bowling ball, computer, broken/nonfunctional auto-scooping electric kitty litter box (this one might not be so much by choice), Duct Tape Wallet.
5. If there was one thing you could do immediately by giving up a pinky toe, what would it be?
Bring Tarja Tururen back to Nightwish…and magically have them not hate each other.
6. What did/do you want to be when you grow up?
Math guru at MIT. That was obviously a bust.
7. Who is your hero? (relatives don’t count unless they’re famous or infamous)
Darroh Sudderth and Cliff Campbell, lead singer and guitarist of Fair to Midland.
8. Which two animals would you breed together to make a hybrid and why?
A whale and busy bees…because then one of my favorite songs might make more sense.
(name of the song is Coppertank Island).
Plus, who wouldn’t want a whale that could make honeycombs. Just saying.
9. What would your superpower be?
To summon the nekobus. Being able to ride a giant fluffy cat transportation unit at my slightest whim? Yes please.
10. What else do you want us to know about you?
I have a hoodie I can Velcro on (for use while my hand is submerged in an eggplant sandwich).
-I bleed pizza sauce from Home Slice.
-I eat smartie rolls all at once.
-I’ve been wearing a six flags locker bracelet for more than a year to try and trick them into letting me have a free locker next time. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is.
-Photos of the sandwich may or may not (read: absolutely will) get uploaded to facebook every hour again, with amazing hand markings and all.